Eulogy
by Kristin Thomson
June 19, 2020
Bryan was not only my true love and husband of 25 years, but also my best friend, my roommate, my advocate, and my partner for so many adventures. I love him with all of my heart, and he truly loved me.
During this service, a few family members will come to the podium, each with stories and tributes about Bryan’s unique role in each of our lives and his remarkable, generous spirit. I poured my heart into the testament that I wrote just after his passing, about how much he loved music, and babies, and sports. And how important he was to his friends, and family and Riley.
I wanted to spend my time here today talking about another remarkable trait, and it starts with a story.
Just after Bryan passed, I received a lovely letter from Debbie Lenert, a friend from teenage years in the Newark area who eventually moved up to Philly in about 1990 with some other Delaware kids. Bryan was already in Philly with some Delaware boys, living at 15th and South. Her letter recounted those early 1990s days in Philly when this crew had jobs like washing dishes, or bar backing, or working at the Taco House.
In her letter, Debbie recounted a group outing to see some band at JC Dobbs, and Marcus got into some trouble and got kicked out of the club. Standing on South Street, Debbie remembers Bryan saying... “someday, I’m going to run this town.” Sort of in a joking way, she said, but even as a 23 year old in Philly, Bryan was striving for something way beyond working in the kitchen at Copa.
This is something that I’m not sure everyone recognized in Bryan. He was incredibly ambitious and bold. And convincing. And comfortable being in charge. Most people whom we run into in our lives that are similarly ambitious have the big personalities to match -- you know the type -- those folks who will take over a room with their presence, or demand attention, or come off as the intellectual superior. This was not Bryan. In fact, he preferred the edges of the action, especially at the beginning of some event, or until he warmed up to the gathering. And, despite making a career at promoting enormous shows, he was not particularly interested in being on stage, or even being acknowledged publicly for the role he played in promoting thousands of successful events.
This characteristic was very familiar to me, and I thought it was endearing, but I learned about his reticence to be the center of attention in 2008 when I organized a surprise 40th birthday party at Connie’s Ric Rac in the Italian Market. After a not-so-successful attempt to *surprise* him upon his arrival at Connie’s, he came over to hug me and murmured in my ear, “never organize a surprise party for me again.” He was a good sport that night and I’m sure he had a lovely time celebrating with friends and family, but, yep, no more surprise parties.
Yet he was very ambitious. He was not afraid of taking risks, or orchestrating big projects. Even while he was booking some of the biggest venues in the city in the past 10 years, he was also investing in restaurants and bars, making handshake deals with business partners, and contributing time to nonprofit projects that he cared about.
What Debbie Lenert said in her letter pretty much came to fruition. Bryan did run this town (apologies to Fergie). He was, for many of us, the advocate, the mentor, the funder, the connector. And this is what makes his departure particularly hard. Because we are suddenly without our leader, our party planning partner, our co-commiserator, our wise-cracking buddy, our confidant, our best friend.
As hard as it is, we can grieve this loss, but also celebrate all the time we had together. So…
Thank you, Bryan, for taking me on a bold adventure. We had a ridiculous amount of fun over 30 years.
Thank you for teaching me so much about being in a loving and supportive relationship.
Thank you for always trusting me, and giving me the confidence and support to pursue ideas as big as yours.
Thank you for teaching me how to laugh at myself.
Thank you for being the most incredible father to Riley, who radiates the same kindness, generosity, and work ethic that you embodied.
And, most importantly, thank you for the unwavering love, a love that I have floated on every day since I first laid eyes on you. I will miss you every day, and I will love you forever.
xoxoxo Kristin